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Yeah, now I think I've seen it all. Although I know there's more coming. In this fast paced world of advanced technology, we are getting wired as we go wireless and we want to be looking at a screen every waking moment. Heck - I fully expect to someday watch television as I sleep, via electrodes adhered strategically to my cranium in lieu of my subconscious supplying those pesky dreams I'd just have to interpret anyway.
The latest and greatest thing some of us won't be able to live without is the iPotty. That's right; your potty training child now has the option of parking their tush on the bowl while surfing the net, watching cartoons, reading and playing educational games (of course). Who says taking a crap can't be entertaining and productive too? And hey - no more dropping Mommy and Daddy's phones into the drink, right?
Before we get to the obvious stupidity of this, how about the gross factor? Do we really want our own devices left up to the little feces riddled fingers of our potty training progeny? Disgusting!
Oh, contrare...they've thought of everything. There is a protective covering to guard against excremental...uh...issues. Great. Now that we've got that covered, what about the extended screen time?
I am definitely not uptight about TV or video gaming as I mentioned in this post, but cripes! In a world full of screens: in grocery store lines, on the backs of car and plane seats, in restaurants - practically everywhere - do we really need to plant our kids in front of another one in the bathroom? Yeah...I take my iPad and iPhone in there with me...but that's a choice. I'm a big girl now, it's my potty and I'll surf if I want to. I've got important emails, Scrabble games and Facebooking to do. But my kid? Does my kid need Dora in there with him shouting "Wiper, start wiping!"? God, if I have to hear that little turd's voice one more time anyway...
Here's another thing: It's hard enough to get my husband out of the can, what with his entire library of old school reading selections, but now we're raising a whole new generation of loo loiterers? I dunno...maybe it's that reverse "me" time that we as parents need. Instead of hiding in the bathroom, we can hang out on the couch while they enjoy a bit of unfettered fecal time.
Still, I think it's just stupid gimmickry. I used to have a stroller that featured an iPod dock. That's not why I got it, but I was pretty stoked thinking I could pop my pod in there and listen to Baby Mozart while strolling dreamily through the park with my tot in tow. And you know what? I never used it. Not once. By the time I gave the stroller away, I was searching high and low to find the adapter parts so I could pass them along to somebody else who'd never use them.
Because as much as I love being entertained, as much as I admit I've got music or the TV on A LOT around the house or out in the great wide open, I don't know that we really need this mind blowing twenty first century greatest thing since sliced bread awesomeness.
Question: Do the kiddies need an Apple to help them take a crapple?
Discuss.
What do you think? Do you think it's useful? Kinda dumb? Should we just put a lid on the whole idea? Or do you just wish they'd make 'em for us grown ups?
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So, I'm reading this post, all disgusted, and in the middle of it, I wandered into the bathroom and peed, all without taking my eyes off the screen of my phone. It wasn't until I got to the line about you taking your phone into the bathroom (while I was mid-stream) that I fully realized what I was doing.
ReplyDeleteHaHa! I love that! People are reading me midstream! That's cool.
DeleteThis is just one more giant step in the world of non-parents. These dumbasses who rely on things like this to teach their kids how to do something instead of parenting themselves. A toddler does not need and iPad for starters why do they need it to drop a deuce?
ReplyDeleteThe Trophy has potty trained dozens of kids (day care teacher) plus our three and you want them concentrating on what they are doing in the bathroom not watching some fucking backpack talk to Dora the Whore-a or Elmo playing with Mr. Noodle.
All we're doing is turning our kids into screen junkies and I'm like you, I don't think it's bad to let them watch a screen but limit that shit people.
Screen junkies indeed! Pretty soon they'll be trying to score a flat screen, then maybe hanging out at the movies a little too much. There has to be a way to ... monitor ... the situation. Har Har.
DeleteI'll take one. I might be a loo loiterer.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laugh!
Aha! I think I see an adult market for these. My husband wants one too.
DeleteMy first thought was, "WTF?" But, I have to admit, I, too, have been known to take my phone into the bathroom with me. But I do set it down to wipe, and I don't pick it back up until after I wash my hands! I promise!!
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you wash up before you resume. We wouldn't want to flag your phone. ;)
DeleteI just asked Spawn if this was a good idea, he's response "I think that it's a good idea because it encourages children to learn while doing their business. But that last picture is very disturbing".
ReplyDeleteAll I know is that I want one. :)
Perhaps he's right. I believe the children are our future...let them lead the way... Thank God Whitney won't be chiming in on that one...
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