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I'm not a religious person. But I do rock the OCD. And if I've learned nothing else, it's that the poor, unfortunate people who live with me, abide by an unspoken and thus far un documented code of conduct. Let's call it my list of commandments. They just sort of know that mom will die a little inside if they rumple the rug while they're wrestling.
I know it's weird. I didn't ask for this calling, But this cross I bear is mine and I'm have this sorta paying it forward.
It's not a major case of the OCD. I don't wash my hands a hundred times a day (though it seems like it), I don't count the number of steps from the front door to the car. And I'm not disparaging those who do. OCD is a serious affliction. But I can make fun of myself and Bolderdash! that's what Ima do.
The following are my Ten Commandments of OCD brought straight to you from Moses, who didn't even have the good sense to wipe the Doodoo-rotomy off his sandals before he came in the front door.
1. Thou shalt not leave "things" lying about upon surfaces or coats and shoes on thy floor. *shudder*
2. Thou shalt not leave the tag on bath towels in full view.
3. Honor they tri-folded towel.
4. Keep holy the straightened cupboards and thusly, thy faced labels. Thy package labels are the only labels thou shalt leave in full view.
5. Thou shalt not have crooked picture frames.
6. Thou shalt have no false starts before me; you shall dutifully go ahead so that I may check the door several times to make sure it's properly closed, closed, closed and locked, locked, locked on Monday, January 7, in the year of Our Lord 2013. Closed. Locked. Closed. Locked. Closed....Locked...(closed. locked)
7. Keep checking thy appliances. If ye must go back in the house to check, then so be it.
8. Thou shalt keep things straight. In a line. Perfectly.
9. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's germs.
10. Thou shalt wash my feet. Then wash them again. Then wash them again.
...Then wash them again...
For God's sake, wipe your feet before you
track all that water in the house.
i have to admit, i also have been cursed by this phenom! of your 10 commandments, the only one i don't fully connect to is number 7...i'm pretty darn good about shutting off/down the few appliances i use before leaving home!
ReplyDeletepeople have noticed and always make a point to let me know, but i just laugh it off and make fun of myself as well! nothing i can do about it, as hard as i've tried!
thanks once again for sharing another 'inside secret'!
Oh, I'm a classic over sharer, so there you go. I like that I've got some people "coming out" here. Solidarity! I'd high five you, but then I'd have to Purell.
DeleteHa, I was just watching Munk last night - he was straightening a row of pictures on the wall.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry - I have many of the same issues. :-)
Those damn pictures on the wall will getcha every time.
DeleteCDO dammit! Because that's the alphabetical way of writing it. I seem to have the same affliction of the curse you do, I'm not super OCD, but slightly...ask the Trophy.
ReplyDeleteI know, I know! Why do I keep getting that wrong? What kind of OCD...er...CDO person am I, anyway?
DeleteIt's funny...I am OCD about certain things...the tags on the triple folded towels, for sure! But when it comes to laundry, I can somehow live with the fact that there are 20 loads (or so) living in my basement. Go figure!
ReplyDeleteI'm the same way. I have a friend who folds her laundry immediately out of the dryer and then there's me: I run it on the wrinkle free cycle and then throw it in the basket and leave it there in a heap. Glad to hear I'm not alone on the towels.
DeleteAAAgh I may have some of the same afflictions. Definitely #1. And dirty feet? Can't abide that - must be washed. I have trouble at the beach...
ReplyDeleteOne I'd need to add to the list - wring out the sponge and place it in the sponge holder. It's not rocket science, husband.
Natalie, I think you and I could have an excellent mental health pow wow. ;)
DeleteJust for me could you add in "though shalt keep the bedroom closet door closed. Especially at night."
ReplyDeleteYES! Because that shit kinda creeps me out. I don't like doors open at night. And that reminds me I forgot about kitchen drawers and cabinets being left open. My husband and kids all leave 'em open and it drives me crazy.
Delete