Ree Drummond: The Pioneer Woman? All this high fallutin' bloggin' n' goin' on about ranching and bein' an "Accidental Country Girl" while she drives around in an auto-MObile, shootin' phO-tOs with her modern camera (not even daguerreotype, if ya git mah meeinin'. That shiny stove and...well, the good Lord knows what all...red velvet sheet cake? Shoot. I'd like to see her cook up a hard tack half as good as mine.
What I'm a-tryin' to say to y'all is that I'm the real Pioneer Woman.
Here I am with mah family:
|That's mah strappin' hubby Rebel Man and our|
youngin', M1 and M2
This here is Rebel Man with our livestock:
Here he is agin in all his virile strappy-ness out with some of his fellow soldiers:
I live on a pug ranch in the middle of nowhere (New Jersey) and I've got a lot of mouths to feed. Some of 'em canine, some of 'em human. But at least the humans don't eat their own feces. So there's that.
Which is nice.
We deal with life and death situations all the time. The youngins sassin' back...livestock peein' all over the furniture. Good Lord above, it gets violently difficult sometimes and we're miles from anywhere.
Yeah. Welcome to MY frontier people.
So since Rebel Man is out workin' hard killin' Yankees, I like to put together a little somethin' for him and the boys to nosh on. So here's my recipe for hard tack.
Ain't it perty, by the way? Oh, and I had a little time on my hands after all the chores were done and the youngins were off to bed, so by candle light, I decided to write these here recipes and put these photos together n' give 'em to the pony express to deliver 'em to...uh...whoever...so I'll be updating this every few months.
Here's my recipe. Okay, this recipe actually comes from Boing Boing.com. (Because I know you're dying to make hardtack.)
To make hardtack:
2 cups all purpose flour
2 cups whole wheat flour
1 tsp salt
Form it into a dough using 1-5 cups of water
Let the dough rest for 10 minutes, then spread it into a pan, prick it all over on top with a fork
and bake it for 50 minutes at 325 degrees F.
Yer probably gonna break some o' yer teeth n then yer gonna be up a crick without a flippin' paddle.
This recipe is so easy and keeps forever.
And if bugs git in it, just pick 'em out!
Don't worry - it doesn't have to look perfect.
I like to call this "rustic".
Goodness gracious, this just makes my whole world better. Color off? It's daytime on the right. On the left it's gittin' to be night time. I never use mah flash.
Never. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever. Never. Ever. I like to use natural light. Oh, and it ain't yet been invented. Sssh.
Here's the bedroom we just redid for M & M. They so love to work with yarn. So they spin their own.
Remember...natural light. That's why these photos are all so dad burn dark.
We work horses too!
Actually...we just live near some horse farms here in Jersey. Ssh! I always wanted horses.
See? I'm the real Pioneer Woman.